I have come to realize a few things over the past few months that really makes things come full circle for me. When I was a child, I always enjoyed school, it was a haven for me even though I was the outcast and I got picked on a lot; mainly because of my home life that unfortunately ran over into my school life (ex. Having to wear Sunday dresses to school everyday). We moved a lot because my Dad was always getting new jobs with better pay, and it was common place that we moved about every two years like clockwork. When I got to high school, getting good grades was still important (have to please the master), but education had become less of a requirement for me. I wanted to go to college, but truth be told, it scared me and I was not sure how in the world I could afford college because what I really wanted was to get away and not live at home anymore. Unfortunately this was not feasible.
Through hard work, and a desire to learn and better my life, I made it to college. I immediately fell in love with learning all over again, and I enjoyed going to school. The old passions came back, and even though school was stressful with work and having a family, I still plugged away. Learning became my life, and I became a lifelong student and learner in those intervening years. It took me eight years to graduate from college, but I have realized how much I value an education and how valuable it is for every child, and even adults. I realize that I will always want to learn and grow because that is part of what makes life interesting, and I do not believe there is such thing as being too smart! In the course of my teaching experiences I have realized that somehow my circle has become complete. Teaching, learning, and education have become my identity. And miracle of all miracles, I am good at it, which still astounds me. I have had many jobs, some to escape home, and some to make a living, and to be honest, there was not any of them that I was bad at. All of them became places for me to grow, and in all but two, I advanced to management very quickly, and when I was driving a school bus I became the go-to driver for all the “troubled” runs.
Even with all that, none of them defined who I was. None of them completed my circle, and the only circle in my life that was in fact complete was the one with my husband. The first time I ever stood in front of a classroom and taught it, I felt a ‘snap’ and felt happy, because I realized after all this time, I found what I was supposed to be. I realized what could make me happy, and getting to know my kids, and getting to participate in the school environment, I know now that I do not want to do anything else. Of course there are bad days, and there are good days, but as one student asked me the other day, “why do you like being a teacher?” and I replied because I love learning and helping students. He then said, “Even on days like today?” to which I replied that even though today was not a great day, if I did not love it I would not be here. He thought about that for a moment, said “hmmm. So, are there a lot of bad days?” and I smiled and thought for only half a second before I realized that the good days far outnumber the bad so far, and I told him so.
The funny thing is, he is a new student and has only had me a couple of times. But, I have noticed already that he is very perceptive. I honestly do not know what prompted him to start the conversation, other than the class had just gotten into trouble. Suddenly I felt better about the day, and I realized that sometimes it only takes one student to make the whole day have a whole new outlook. But, that is just my big fat opinion.
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